So you’ve been together for ten years. Or maybe you only began to date a month ago. You feel in your heart that this is your true love. This is the one you want to spend the rest of your life next to. But what is the appropriate relationship status? Dating seems too easy, too boring for your level of love. You already shared your first kiss, your first night naked in each other’s arms. There is but one logical step left, which will lead you down the aisle and into your lover’s waiting embrace. Are you ready for marriage? Are they? Before you can decide who should propose and what the guest should eat, you must first decide this crucial question: is it time?
“The darkest secrets have enjoyed the brightest light.”We all know that trust is key to any healthy relationship. However, it is much easier to promise to reveal your deepest secrets than to actually do so. Before you consider proposing, or hoping your beloved will do the same, examine the trust level in your relationship. If your relationship has been completely open from day one, you stand an excellent chance of staying out of divorce court. I am not just talking the “I ate your favorite cereal” kind of revelation. In a relationship, there are some things that must be laid on the table if you hope to get married, or simply stay together:
–Past relationships. Okay, so your boyfriend from first grade does not count. Your girlfriend from college, who you accidentally impregnated, is. Don’t be afraid of your lover pulling away in horror. If they are truly for you, they will listen and understand, and agree that it was in the past. You must do the same for their secrets, too.–Health: So no one wants to discuss the taboo letters S.T.D. If you have one, or think your partner may, discuss it! Tell the truth. You owe it to each other to be honest. Many relationships are truly forever if they survive this scary conversation.
“You fight, but not to the point of mutual loathing.”
Many people believe that a perfect relationship has no fights. This is untrue. Couples fight over bills, children, vacation, etc. These fights are inevitable, and are, interestingly, expected. It is when you begin to fight over the toothpaste cap and the empty milk jug that you need to worry. Think about it this way. If you can survive the big fights now, you are well prepped for marriage, and you know your love will survive. If someone storms out during every one of these necessary arguments, then marriage is not for you. Just remember that there is no such thing as a perfect couple.
“You and your sweetheart desire the same things.”
I’m not talking that flat screen TV you saw at Best Buy that you just had to have. No. I’m talking children, budgets, etc. If you both want children or neither of you do, then marriage is a good idea. It’s the same principle if you can easily agree on a household budget, if you enjoy the same activities, etc. It is more than wanting the same things, though. You’re truly ready for marriage if, upon realizing that you desire the same basic options, you respect each other’s individual needs.
If you want the same things, lay everything on the table, and fight well, you’re ready for marriage. So what are you waiting for? Go kiss your love and tell them they’re you’re everything.
Save me a seat at the wedding!